"You're Right" here, live from Tokyo, Japan with an exclusive review of "Dragonball: Evolution" just for the Fridge.  Beware MAJOR SPOILERS below.

"Dragonball Evolution Kamehamehaed the Fridge!"

Today was the opening day for "DragonBall: Evolution" in Japan, so I purchased a ticket at the last minute for the first showing at the Toho Theater in Odaiba where every weekend thousands of people go to see movies and get away from their daily grind. The theater it was being presented in had at least a 600-seat capacity, but I counted only about 30 people including me.  Not a good sign at all.  

Going in I pretty much knew what to expect.  What you have seen in the trailer is exactly what you are going to get on the big screen. This film is not the worst film adaptation of a franchise that’s for sure;  I would say it’s better than "Dead or Alive" but equally matched with the god-awful "Charlie's Angels."  So again Hollywood (aka 20th Century Fox) puts their own spin, re-imagining, or whatever they call it this week on Akira Toriyama’s Manga / Anime "Dragonball." What they ended up with is a film that is loosely based on the original that is dull and plays out at a turtles (kame) pace.

Spoiler warning and it’s the best thing about the movie… Ernie Hudson is in the movie.  Honestly for me that was the films highlight, it’s always a joy to see him in films no matter how small the role. Anyway the story starts with Lord Picolo and Oozaru 2000 years ago as they battle, almost destroying everything. Then Picolo is imprisoned and then somehow in present day he escapes.  How he escapes isn’t explained, he just does and his mission is to find all the Dragonballs so he can have his revenge. Only thing is Picolo pretty much throughout the whole movie only talks a lot and doesn’t do much.  He just  stands around on his Zeppelin, leaving  all the dirty work to "Mai," sporting nice cleavage, who runs around causing havoc and locating the Dragonballs.  

The first act of the film is pretty much the Karate Kid in reverse;  Goku played by Justin Chatwin is trained by Gohan Goku’s grandfather, but not to fight humans. All Goku knows is fighting but it’s his eighteenth birthday and he would rather learn about the birds and the bees. So he heads off to school where he is picked on for being a geek while lusting over ChiChi played by Jamie Chung. The only person actually lusting over this actress and her obvious enhanced chest is the director James Wong, who from this point on in the film tries to put Jamie in every scene he possibly can. Seriously she is not even hot nor can the girl deliver a convincing fight scene, instead of cutting Krillin out of the film they should have cut out ChiChi.   

Anyways the first act is wasted on budding love sessions between Goku and ChiChi.  This is only used as a plot device to get Goku out of the house so Gohan can be hurt by Picolo’s oh so powerful Darth Vader house crushing force ability. Goku senses his gramps is in trouble and rushes home in time to hear Gohan’s last words about the power of the Dragonballs and how he must stop Picolo, which keeps getting regurgitated for the rest of the film. "Find the Dragonball and you will be granted the perfect wish."  God, my wish would have been for a better movie.

It almost feels like there was no script for this movie at all; as if they were given a summary of the characters then where told just drop them in along the way.  Bulma is mindless and lacks any real attitude.  This is no way this dame could be involved in Capsule Corps.   Chow Yun Fat as Master Roshi was the only performance similar to the comic, but he was much too light hearted.  He needed to be more perverted.  With all the cleavage in this film, Roshi’s hands should have been everywhere. Roshi continues to train Goku from this point on and shows him how to channel the Kamehameha. Then Yamcha is tossed in out of the blue.  Since he can’t fight he just ends up as extra baggage on the journey.  

By the time you get to the grand finally of the film you really could care less. Goku finally comes face to face with Picolo only to find out he is not human and will turn into "Oozaru", Picolo’s monkey slave and commanded to kill his new friends.  Roshi tries to capture Picolo in a magic vase which ends up killing him, of course "Oozaru Goku" realizes he has the will to over come his monkey madness and eventually returns to his former self in order to defeat Piclolo with a less than spectacular Kamehameha blast.  Then everybody gathers the Dragonballs and summons Shenron to wish Roshi back from the dead. All is well and Goku goes back to ChiChi.  She challenges Goku to a fight and the film ends in a Rocky 3 "Eye of the Tiger" still frame ending.  

This film was easy to sit through, but not worth the price of admission. The plot is almost nonexistent and pasted together with visual effects when they needed to fill in gaps where there was nothing to say. The scope of his film is too small and almost feels like it was more for a direct to DVD release. "Dragonball"  deserves better and so do you, my advice is to go read the manga.  

Oh by the way, during the credits you see Picolo being nursed back to heath by some Asian woman.  So you know "if" there is a sequel he will be back, and due to human kindness he will turn good.

I give this film a 7 on the Geiger counter.

Comments (11)

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Rorschach said:

... I thought this looked fairly dodgy from day one. Thank god im not a Dragonball fan! But i feel bad for the folks that are, they should have put more effort into it

March 15, 2009

jahgah said:

... Umm... Mai isn't a made up character.

March 15, 2009

irfangirl said:

... Mia's in the manga and anime from what I recall. Anyway, good review...it just told me what I already feared about the movie. I'm a fan, although I was more die-hard for it when I was in early high school, and I was rolling my eyes the entire trailer for this so-called film. James Marsters...I love ya, you were awesome as Spike...but I can't and will not sit through this peice of crap movie just for you. Sorry!

March 15, 2009

TheFridge said:

... Well, I can't really say that this came as a shock.

March 15, 2009

GOD said:

... "You're Right" wanted me to edit the review just now to reflect that Mai is not a made up character. He said he made a mistake and wanted it changed. So it is changed. Thankfully now I don't have to waste my time and money to go review this. It looked like garbage, and now I know it is.

March 15, 2009

zom-bot said:

... i'm no fan of the extremely formulaic cartoon, right down to every episode being the same, but it was what it was- it was a goofy take on the 'VS.' genre even if there really weren't that many fights because every second they could stretch out the 'action' they would. but the best aspects were always the bizarre ones- the flying, the few extreme characters, the exaggerated, mountain shattering explosions... so i say if you are going to make a movie of such a cartoon, you have to go all the way. and i could tell this thing only went 1/20th of the way. I think the casting of goku was fine, but this would have worked as a speed racer type of movie- not a mortal kombat (the movie) clone. also, brown hair on bulma = nuking the fridge

March 16, 2009 | url

LonestarX said:

DBE You gave it a 7 out of 10 which means the movie wasn't that bad.

March 20, 2009 | url

Goku said:

DBE Mai IS a made up character, you idiots.

March 20, 2009

Craymel said:

... No Mai isn't made up. She is in the manga. Though dbe Mai and db are NOTHING alike. In fact you don't learn anything about dbe Mai she's just thrown in there... No back story no nothing.

March 20, 2009

DragonballFan said:

I saw this movie... So I watched this movie a few days ago, and it was every thing I anticipated. It was crap. The whole entire story was bogus. But I managed to watch it out, they way I was able to watch it was to block out the original story,& characters, and make my self think that this movie is just another "Hollywood Kung-Fu" movie, with a teen struggling with high-school. Mai was a real character in both the anime(Dragonball) and the manga, but the original Mai was somewhat an idiot, now this Mai can accomplish work, wow what a way to NOT stick to the story. And finally, why did "Oozaru-Goku" look like a hair dude rather than a GIANT APE, did fox spend too much money on making the "KAMEHAMEHA" look "cool".

March 20, 2009

huge DBE fan said:

I am the biggest fan ever dude i have watched every db, dbz, dbgt episode ever. And i will love this movie no matter how bad it sucks. you probably can not find a better movie. and quite with this mouning about krillin. you name one 5 foot tall bald guy and then i will think about whining.and besides everyone krillin is not a 3 foot tall MIGGET.And dude they called it db evolution for a reason. evolution means a change in a subject the subject is db. and they are changing it around i love that it is diffrent i get tired watching. the same fights over and over again i want something new you know. no offense but you would not do any better. i dont expect it to be exactly like the anime. and dude whoever wrote this page you are stupid. mai is in the anime remember emperor pilaf. he had two assistants his dog mutt. and mai who wore the exact same costume can shapshift she took the exact same school as oolong and puar. i am the biggest fan ever and i dont care how bad it sucks. it will still and always unless they come out witha sequel, i think db revolution would be good and end at vegeta saga. but it will always be my fav. peace out all fanes who have sence and agree.

April 08, 2009 | url

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